The CSS Song

guitar
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One of my greatest delights as a Happiness Engineer helping users with their WordPress themes is witnessing “lightbulb moments” – seeing people start to understand technical concepts that had been fuzzy before, as their site starts to take shape.

Recently, one of the folks I helped with some custom CSS in the WordPress.org support forums was particularly grateful. I’d lent a hand getting his custom-song business website looking just the way he wanted, and taught him a bit about responsive design in the process – that’s the art of crafting a site that adapts to any device, from desktops and laptops down through tablet and phone sizes.

Once the site was looking close to what he had in mind, James casually offered to write me an original song on any topic, as a thank you for the help he’d gotten. I couldn’t resist taking him up on his kind – but completely unexpected – offer, and asked if he could write a song about CSS, since it seemed apt.

A week or two later, an audio file and lyric sheet arrived in my inbox. And I’ve been enchanted ever since. Thank you, James!

The CSS Song
by Custom Song Workshop

CSS
it’s so mysterious
I wasn’t the best best
in fact, way down on that list
In truth a total novice
hit the forum to enlist
my coding therapist
pray we’ll take care of this

CSS
if I really must confess
my mobile columns were a mess
media queries, I didn’t know yet
Concepts like margin and float
like distant islands, too remote
as I flailed and drowned
until Kathryn calmed me down

‘Cause I spent all my life thinking that I’ll never need it
But with Kathryn’s help even I still clumsily succeeded

CSS
design a site for my business
it simply couldn’t look a mess
the visuals had to impress
on a variety of screens
from big to small and in between
I sat alone, cowed and upset
‘Cause I didn’t know how…yet

See, I lived all my life having never even coded
When forced to web design my declining confidence eroded

‘Cause I wanted a beautiful site
but I didn’t want to pay with two limbs
Well it all turned out alright
and I owe it all to Kathryn

I copied so much code to the CSS additional section
Who would ever think I’d become somewhat independent?

CSS
Should I revisit this mess
won’t feel such pain and distress
for truly Kathryn is the best
Automattic Engineer of Happiness
and to that title I can attest
for I didn’t burst nor implode
send my Mac crashing three floors below